I’m afraid that across standard Christian culture “modesty” is becoming a taboo subject, relegated only to legalists and self-righteous bigots. I watched the comment thread explode with anger and accusations after John Piper recently wrote a thoughtful article called “Bikinis and Modesty” which was soaked through with humility and fatherly wisdom. Suddenly among Christians the topic seemed off-limits. And of course, heaven forbid a man be allowed any thoughts about feminine modesty.

What Is Modesty?

Contrary to popular thought, modesty doesn’t primarily mean covering your body. Modesty is an attribute of the heart. It’s in having a humble estimation of your entire self, and a godly perception of your role in the world. Submissiveness towards Christ, in seeking him to shape your personhood, is modesty. But what we choose to present to the world on our outsides can say a lot about what’s happening inside.

Quenching Our Thirst

The bible, the world, and common experience tell us that women desire to be beautiful. Beauty is one of our fundamental struggles; We want to look beautiful for ourselves and others. Yet at the same time, we hate the whole thing. Unattainable goals, for many, becomes an obsession. Women are in constant war with beauty.

We love to be admired as Solomon admires his bride: “You are altogether beautiful, my love;
there is no flaw in you” (Song of Solomon 4:7). Wowzers, right?

Secular media capitalizes on women’s natural desire for beauty. Identifying some desperate thirst among women, impersonal proclamations of your beauty by people who don’t know you, seem to be popular. You know what I mean- like the random Instagram posts telling you how beautiful you are. It always weirds me out. And as much as they say it’s not about appearance, you don’t have to look hard to see that it is. No one can sell you heart change, or praise-worthy motives, servanthood, patience, generosity, and the things God encourages. For a long time, the world’s been selling women on looks.

There has been a change in recent years, called “body positivity.” It’s all about self-acceptance and self-worth. There are good aspects to the movement; It isn’t healthy for any of us to try and shrink here and expand there to fit one mold. Women’s bodies are not made like that. But the world’s body-positivity movement travels quickly to body-displaying. It doesn’t just encourage acceptance of your body but inspires pride in displaying yourself in front of others. Christian women aren’t exempt from chomping this bait up.

The world says that your body on display is the equivalent of feminine strength and power. This is what feminism has liberated us for. For display. Do you see how crooked that is? How weak, shallow, and demeaning? Sometimes I see Christian women leaping into this “liberation,” celebrating the freedom of revealing their bodies and applauding their boldness, and I can’t help but think “Isn’t there more? Isn’t there something better?”

What is Your Body For?

It isn’t the desire to be beautiful or comfortable in your skin that’s wrong. What’s missing is the biblical understanding that your body was made for so much more than what the world celebrates. One of the most helpful texts we could look at is 1 Corinthians 6:12-14:

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.”

“All things are lawful for me.”

Doesn’t that sound familiar? It comes out like this: “I’m free in Christ! Who are you to tell me what I shouldn’t wear? You’re just a legalist.”

Those statements might harbor truth in some cases, but they’re likely bent on pride, self-interest, self-indulgence, and a lack of love for your family in Christ.

Paul would say: “But is it helpful?” Beyond that, he wants you to view your body in light of eternity. Consider food- you were meant for food. Food isn’t bad, it’s necessary. Yes, you shouldn’t overindulge in food, and be dominated by it. After all, your stomach isn’t God, so don’t treat it like God. One day your organs will die. There is no God in your stomach.

How are you going to view your body? As a temple for food? Or a temple for sex, or attention and flattery? As a thing to put on display and put all your self-worth into?

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

The body was meant for food, but not for sexual immorality. We were however created as people with sexual desires, and bodies that can be used powerfully to allure and entice. Now that is a truth that the devil gets right. If you embrace that appetite and power without a biblical view of the body, marriage, and sexuality, what will you get? Self-display and self-propagation that quickly grows into immorality. Not a popular subject, but extremely self-evident.

Remember that your body belongs to God, and he will raise it from the grave one day. Why not use that same body you have today to glorify the one it was created for?

The Bible Isn’t Silent

The bible is clear that sexual intimacy and praise are meant to be shared in the context of marriage. What might not be as clear are rules that govern what we do or don’t wear. I think this is a great example of God’s thoughts being bigger than our thoughts.

Instead of asking “What shouldn’t I wear?” it is more helpful to ask, “How does God want me to present myself?” In that case there are a few helpful passages:

1 Timothy 2:9-10 “Likewise also… women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”

Notice that this text encourages women to take their eyes off of themselves and think beyond appearances. We should be more concerned about adorning ourselves with good works and kindness, then we are with our clothes. Temporary things take the backseat. When we have that in perspective, we become less concerned with impressing others and more interested in loving others.

If your heart is to love others, which includes your brothers in Christ, wearing revealing clothing becomes unappetizing. It’s not on your radar.

The text here tells us to dress in “respectable apparel,” and not in a way that shows off. I think this would include showing off our wealth, or our bodies themselves. Not every woman will have the same convictions on how to apply this text but considering it prayerfully can certainly help mold our choices.

Romans 12:1 says “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”

You know, being a woman is hard. Example- layering tops in the summer. It stinks. Why can’t people make shirts long enough, high enough, and thick enough? I’m prone to complain. But maybe instead I should just think of it as an act of worship.

Finally Proverbs 31:17, 25 tells us how the godly woman clothes herself: “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong… Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.”

How much would you love to be described as a woman of strength, dignity, and laughter? How much more gratifying is that than “so hot.” Although, maybe you don’t feel it is. If that’s the case, ask God to change your heart and find a sister in Christ to help and encourage you.

This is a TOUGH subject, but one that we can’t afford to make taboo.