Are There Good Reasons to Leave a Church?

In my fairly small town, Chilliwack, there are over 50 churches. Sadly, church growth comes mainly through church-swapping, provided you’re on the winning side. Are there good reasons for leaving a church? Sure. And those possible good reasons can be found elsewhere. For example, here, here, and here.

But I think many people leave churches in a similar way to switching gym memberships or their preferred grocery store. Brighter equipment, greater perks, and a dream-like notion that things are better over there, and the people perhaps healthier or more your type.

“Reasons to leave a church” gets roughly 240 searches on Google monthly in the US, while “Reasons to stay in a church” gets nada. This may indicate that a lot of churches stink, but it’s also indicative of the self centered, discontent generation we are.

As Christians, we shouldn’t love controversy, grumbling, and nit picking at the church, or at our leaders. If we spend more time criticizing than we do loving people and building them up in the faith- there’s likely something wrong with us. In fact, we are looking in the wrong direction. Instead, we need to get the log out of our own eye before going after someone’s speck.

Philippians 2:14-15 “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”

Believers- your job is to be the church, and shine like a light in the world. If you can get consumed with that, you won’t be consumed by your own complaints.

The Unique Blessings of Staying In Your Church

My husband and I have been with many of the same believers since before we got married, over 15 years ago. We endured a large church split, but the Lord was faithful and kept many of us together. Fifteen years is enough time to experience some significant blessings that we would not have received if we had bailed whenever things got tough.

The blessings we’ve received all involve people. And I must say, I really, really love that. Because the church is people, more than that it’s family. More even than that- the church is Christ’s body, functioning where God has placed it, with every member uniquely arranged to bring Him glory (1 Corinthians 12:1-27).

Christians always say “the church is the people- not the building”. Yet, sometimes we act more like it’s a building, or perhaps a doctrinal machine. It’s easier to simply change your location than it is to leave your family.

Reasons to Stay In Your Church

First of all- your church has problems. I guarantee it. The congregants have problems, your pastor has problems, the elders have problems, and as a whole the church is probably failing in several areas of ministry. I’m not asking anyone to deny the problems; I am however proposing, there are better and brighter things to look at in your church. And indeed, there are also reasons you should consider staying and committing for the long haul.

So what blessings might you receive if you stay in your church?

1. You Get to See Your Pastor Grow.

There’s a flawed human willing to stand up at a pulpit every Sunday and pour his heart out to you. If you are highly blessed, he preaches to you from the living Word of God. Count yourself double blessed if he actually takes considerable time to study it in context.

What a time we live in, where the Word of God is at our fingertips. And what a fearful thing to stand before other sinful beings and preach it week after week. I tremble at the thought.

There’s a million places to fail. Pride. Bad attitudes. Big personalities that crowd out God himself. Small, meek personalities that have little excitement, or voice inflection and appear to lack passion. Too emotional, not emotional enough.

Failed interpretations, failed applications, flat out mistakes.

But then, there’s glimmers of the glory of the only begotten Son of God. There’s something beautiful that shines through that humble, quiet man. Or something soft and breaking in the heart of a too-prideful pastor. God uses a word here and a word there to convict sinners, to save unbelievers, to transform lives. That is, if you’re not too proud yourself to receive it.

Bit by bit, your pastor grows in character, in skill with the word, in leadership qualities. It takes time- just like it does for every other member. You pray, you rejoice, you are thankful, you have patience, you trust God with your imperfect pastor and elders.

Too often, people criticize and run, failing to wait and reap answered prayers. That’s a missed blessing my friends, and it’s a shame.

Hebrews 13:7 “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

2. You Get to See Fellow Believers Grow in Faith, Love, Knowledge and Deeds.

If you swap churches every couple years, you’ll never have the blessing of seeing what the Lord does in a DECADE with someone. The maturing of believers looks to me like a “harvest of righteousness… sown in peace by those who make peace (James 3:17). They go and bear fruit, fruit that abides and feeds others. They weather storms and come out gold- if you wait for it. What a beautiful thing to miss, when we leave in the middle of a mess. What if the Lord would bear fruit in his time? Could you wait for it?

Matthew 13:31-32 “Heaven’s kingdom can be compared to the tiny mustard seed that a man takes and plants in his field. Although the smallest of all the seeds, it eventually grows into the greatest of garden plants, becoming a tree for birds to come and build their nests in its branches.”

In faith, you can remain in your church, careful not to uproot new shoots, or tangled vines, careful not to cut down the tree before it has a chance to provide shade. Waiting patiently is not highly valued, but there’s a blessing you might miss by leaving hastily.

3. You Get to Watch Children and Families Grow.

It’s a unique blessing to watch children grow from tiny babies into teenagers. Then eventually, those teenagers grow up and marry, and those newly weds, become parents. Maybe, you are a Sunday School teacher or Youth Leader, and in some small way you get to contribute to the life of that child. You share simply in the blessing of having taught them, known them, and seen them grow physically and spiritually. This is precious to the Lord, and to your own heart.

You also can raise your child in the church and allow them to be deeply planted and reap the benefits of being in the Family of God- a blessing beyond measure.

4. Your Roots Get Deeper and You Grow.

You simply are not meant to grow outside of a body of believers. Once in that body, your not meant to grow by fixating on yourself. When you look to your wants, your needs, and even your own hurts- you’ll become discontent with your church quickly. But when you seek to love and serve others, it is incredible how quickly your own needs will be met.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

In serving, not only will you find your own soul becoming more satisfied within the church body, you will also grow, in a way similar to how a muscle grows with exercise. Stagnant, discontent, grumbling people are not likely to grow. Connect to the body, then move. You will be enriched and strengthened in every way.

2 Corinthians 9:10 “He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.”

So You Don’t Believe In Easy-Believism?

Do you say you don’t believe in “easy-believism”? Then why do you believe in easy church membership?

Romans 15:1-6 “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.” For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”

For the glory of God then, “if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:1-3).

Is there any of this blessed union in Christ at your church? Can you stay? Can you fight- not against the church, but for it? It may not seem like your easiest path right now- but it could possibly be your most blessed path.